


it took dying just to feel alive

by ciminos



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Humor, Jealous Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Luke Patterson, Pining Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Pre-Canon, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciminos/pseuds/ciminos
Summary: Now that their lives were basically over, Reggie's tired of holding back his feelings, but he isn't sure how to share them.
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Previous Luke Patterson/Alex (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 289





	it took dying just to feel alive

**Author's Note:**

> hi ! i hope u enjoy i wrote this instead of doing my math homework so .. please support <33

The world around the three boys swirls as they are teleported from the streets of Hollywood into an empty abyss. They slowly take in their surroundings as their vision clears before looking towards each other in utter confusion. 

“Um... guys what just happened?” Reggie practically shouts—resulting in an echo.

“Yeah boys w-where are we?” Luke responds in equal uncertainty.

“Okay so let me get this straight,” Alex speaks up after a few seconds, practically in a whisper, “an hour ago we literally _died_ , and now we were just teleported into this room of darkness? How long are we going to be here? Is this some sort of waiting room for heaven? What if I have to use the bathroom? What if-“ His voice breaks when he cuts himself off as Luke traces his hand up his spine in an attempt to calm him.

Mild annoyance overcomes Reggie’s mind as he turns away from the two of them and continues to look around the room. Even though Luke and Alex had mutually agreed to end their relationship on good terms a few weeks ago, he couldn’t help the jealousy he felt whenever the two of them got close.

He had always felt something for Luke since the day they met, but after seeing what Alex had to do go through with his own parents, he pushed those feelings down as far as he could. 

His parents were already a fight away from divorce as it is and he didn’t need to be the reason they finally ended it by coming out. But as hard as he tried he couldn’t help the butterflies that swarmed inside of him whenever he and Luke shared lingering moments. 

Every time their arms would brush during group huddles he could physically feel his heartbeat pound through his entire body. Every time they would spend the night together crammed on the floor of their studio he would listen as the other boy’s slow breathing eased him to sleep. And every time they were up on stage he could feel himself being pulled towards Luke as if they were two magnets destined to be together.

It’s not that he was ashamed of his feelings, it’s just that there was never a right time to reveal them. And now there may never be a right time because he was dead. _Dead_. And with nothing to show for it. Tonight was supposed to be their night. The night that changed everything. And yet here the three of them were, standing in a pitch-black room consisting of nothing but themselves and the unspoken words that they were all afraid to share.

“Reggie?” Luke questions as he grasps onto Reggie’s shoulder—pulling him from his thoughts. 

“Oh-yeah-yes what’s up?” Reggie spurts out as he focuses nearly all of his attention onto the hand on his shoulder, feeling it burn into him like hot coals.

“Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick.” 

“Oh yeah, that’s probably just what dying does to you,” he chuckles, “i’m fine.” He attempts to convince Luke but also himself.

“Well I’m not!” Alex shouts as he stands in front of them and waves his hand between the two of their faces—breaking their eye contact. 

“It's okay Alex, we’re all going to be fine,” Luke says calmly as he removes his hand from Reggie's shoulder and places it on to Alex’s. Reggie instantly feels his shoulder grow cold and places his own hand over where Luke’s had just been, missing the touch.

“We still have each other, what else do we really need?” Luke smiles and even in the nearly pitch dark Reggie could see it shine, brightening their moods.

“Well.. food, water, a place to use the bathroom-“ Reggie jokes as he decides to take a seat on the ground. The floor is a similar texture to tile, except it's rougher and radiates a low heat. 

“You know what I meant, dork.” Luke laughs as he pulls Alex down with him and joins the other boy on the floor.

**

They sit there in a comfortable silence for a while, all clearly wrapped up in their own thoughts until Luke speaks up,

“So should we play a game to pass the time?” 

“H-how do you manage to stay so calm all the time? I’m honestly freaking out.” Alex questions as his voice raises in pitch towards the end of his thought.

“One of us has to be.” Luke shrugs as he places his hands on both of the other boy’s thighs. Reggie’s eyes dart down and he stares at the ringed hand that sat innocently above his knee.

He and his bandmates had always been the type of people who would find any excuse to touch each other, but whenever Luke touched him he felt something more than whenever anyone else did. When Luke touched him, no matter how brief, he wanted to stay in that moment forever never letting go.

“Oh let’s play truth or dare!” Luke shouts as he lifts his hands up in order to slap both of their legs. 

Reggie and Alex both nod in agreeance seeing as they had nothing better to do nor knew how long they would be stuck there for. 

“Oh dibs on going first!” Reggie pipes up.

“Okay,” Luke laughs, “truth or dare?”

“Oh-oh-oh dare! No truth! Wait no dare. Actually-“ 

“I’m already sick of being stuck with you.” Alex says coldly before lightly punching him in the shoulder to indicate that he doesn’t actually mean it. 

“Okay so which is it, Reggie? We may be stuck here for eternity but I do not want to spend the entire time waiting for you to decide.” Luke continues to chuckle. 

“You know what actually skip me I still need to decide.” Reggie states matter of factly.

“You literally said- you know what okay,” Luke playfully rolls his eyes as he moves on, “Alex, truth or dare?”

“Hmm, dare,” Alex shrugs before nudging Reggie, “See how easy it was for me to choose Reg?” Alex and Luke laugh as Reggie attempts to act annoyed.

“Okay.. I dare you to run as far as you can in here and see if you run into anything.”

“What are you crazy?” Alex gasps dramatically, “there is no way that’s happening.”

“A dare’s a dare, Alex.” Reggie says toyingly as he waves him off. But when he doesn’t move Luke pipes up again,

“What if I go with you then.” He says as he stands up and reaches his hand out in order to pull Alex up with him. Reggie feels his eyes fall onto the other two boys' arms as the grasp onto each other. He feels the same annoyance he always felt and tries to swallow it down. Normally he would try to focus on something else but the problem was there was nothing else to focus on. 

They were the only things in the entire room so all he could do was stare as his two bandmates counted down and then took off as fast as they could in the other direction. He could hear their laughs as they echoed around him as if to taunt him. He felt his pulse increase as he plugged his ears and began to hum to himself. 

**

Reggie sits there by himself for an unknown amount of time and begins to grow worried until he feels two hands grab on to his shoulders from behind and begin to shake him. He jumps up immediately and screams at the top of his lungs until two familiar pairs of eyes lock onto his.

Luke and Alex burst into laughter as Reggie’s own eyes widen while he attempts to even his breathing.

“What the heck was that for?” Reggie pants as he places his hands on his knees.

“Dude I’ve never heard you scream that loud!” Luke spits out as he continues hysterically laughing. 

“Yeah man, we should sample that for our next song.” Alex chuckles but instantly stops as his own words register in his head. 

They were never going to have a next song. They probably weren’t even going to be out in the real world ever again. As much as they appreciated being able to be stuck together, they all would equally do just about anything to be back out there, playing at the Orpheum. 

They were supposed to be something, they were going to perform their first sold-out concert, they were going to eventually tour the world, they were going to be the biggest boyband ever. But there they were, standing together in an empty dark room.

The three boys sit back down at the same time and sigh as their bodies hit the familiar flooring. Reggie places his hand on Lukes back and feels the boy's shoulders fall as the tension within them is instantly released. 

Luke looks up into his eyes and Reggie feels them piercing into him like two daggers. Normally he wasn’t a fan of brown eyes but Luke’s were special. Hidden in the light brown were specks of green that shined under the stage lights. Reggie pictured in his mind the times where he would look into those familiar eyes while they were singing. He could probably see a thousand pairs of eyes and be able to pick out Luke’s because of how beautiful they were. There in the dark Reggie couldn’t see the green but he knew it was there, hidden from the light but still persistent and beautiful. 

Luke smiles softly and honestly if Reggie ever doubted his feelings for him, right there in that moment he knew that he had fallen hard. He wanted to punch himself in the face because of how much he liked to look at him. 

He wants to tell him. He wants to tell him how he has had feelings for him for as long as he could remember, how he couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else, how he was terrified of ruining their friendship but he couldn’t deny what he felt anymore. 

Luke’s soft curls hang slightly in front of his eyes and Reggie almost reaches out to brush them out of his face until Luke looks away as he notices Alex’s soft whimpering,

“Okay let’s get back to the game, Alex it’s your turn to ask someone.” he says comfortingly, instantly calming Alex.

Reggie slowly removes his hand and begins to pull away but Luke catches it and places it onto his own thigh. Reggie stares forward in an attempt to play it cool but he feels his heart rate race. Luke was honestly the most clueless person he knew if he couldn't tell how far gone he was.

“Oh right okay,” Alex breathes, “Reggie are you ready to answer or do I have to ask Luke?” 

Reggie breathes slowly and counts in his head as he inhales and exhales,

“Oh-yeah…uhh.. truth.” he decides without much thought as he couldn’t focus on anything else besides the cute boy next to him and his hand slowly rubbing his thigh.

“Ohh let me think…I know!” Alex exclaims, “what is one secret you’ve never told anyone?” He says mischievously as his eyes dart between the two of them.

Reggie freezes as the words hit his ear and swam around his chest. This was his chance. He could confess his feelings for Luke without the fear of having to avoid him if the feelings weren't returned as he couldn’t even if he wanted to. They were going to be stuck in that room for forever so he may as well get everything off his chest, the sooner the better.

“Okay, I..” He looks to Luke and watches as he stares back innocently. He squeezes his thigh before he finally lets the words he’d been holding in for years out of his mouth for the first time, “I think I have feelings for you, Luke.” 

Luke freezes under his touch and Reggie can feel the pressure he’d been holding in for as long as he could remember immediately evaporate into thin air. He feels his chest empty and fill with desire. He feels the air around him that had been swarming with tension immediately wisp away and replace with a comfortable breeze.

Luke doesn’t say anything and Reggie almost begins to panic until the faint noise of their own song floods their ears, growing louder by the second.

“W-what’s going on?” Luke says as he quickly stands up, followed by Alex and then Reggie. 

It grows incredibly loud to the point that they all have to cover their ears and scream to drown the noise, until one by one they are teleported out of the darkness and into a bright colorful room.

***

So they were ghosts, they had already known that part, but now all of a sudden it was 2020, they could be heard by other people only when playing music, and they were living in their old studio that had been remodeled by a young girl’s deceased mother, all in one hour. Well one hour for them, but somehow 25 years for everyone else. 

Honestly Reggie was running out of words to describe how utterly confused he was. They had just gotten back from walking around Sunset Boulevard to explore their first full night as ghosts and the sun was already beginning to rise. 

They had found two old sleeping bags in the loft of the studio and laid them out next to each other on the floor. Alex had called dibs on the couch as soon as they got back and normally Reggie would have argued for it but he knew that Alex deserved it. 

He had always been the one who was more in touch with their feelings in comparison to the other members, so when he collapsed on to the couch and instantly fell asleep Reggie couldn’t help himself as he sat on the table adjacent to it and rubbed Alex’s back gently. 

Luke eventually joins him as he quietly sits next to him on the coffee table, causing it to creak,

“I don’t think this table is meant to support two people.” Luke whispers and chuckles.

“Well I was here first so…” Reggie teases as he lightly pushes the other off of the table and onto the floor. 

Neither he nor Luke had brought up his confession from earlier that night, but to be fair there was never a right time to do so. From meeting Julie to almost getting kicked out of their studio to spending their night out on the town, there wasn’t ever a perfect moment to talk about it. 

Part of him wanted to pretend like the whole thing never happened, but he was honestly tired of it. Tired of having to keep his feelings a secret out of fear. Tired of silently pining after someone he didn’t even know if he’d end up with. He just needed to know now. 

Reggie sighs as he slowly retracts his hand from Alex’s back after a few minutes and walks across the room towards his sleeping bag. They had set them both up in front of the TV so that they could watch it without having it be too loud.

Luke had already snuggled into his own bag and Reggie stared down at him with want in his heart. He wanted nothing more than to hop down there and pull Luke into a passionate kiss that went on forever. He wanted to run his hand through his wavy hair and look into those sparkly beautiful eyes that he had permanently etched into his memory. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Luke asks as he looks up in mild confusion and amusement.

“O-oh no.” Reggie chuckles awkwardly before slowly bending down and climbing into his own sleeping bag. He looks up at the TV that Luke had switched on a couple of minutes ago,

“So.. what are you watchin’?” He asks in an attempt to stir up a conversation. 

“No idea honestly, but TV sure has changed in 25 years, I mean look at that quality!” He nearly shouts causing Alex to shush him from across the room. 

Luke and Reggie look to each other and giggle quietly.

Their eyes linger on each other and Reggie suddenly grows hyper-aware of the distance between the two of them. Their faces are only a few inches apart and part of him tells himself to pull away while another part of him holds him there in that moment.

“So… about earlier,” Luke says softly. Reggie’s breath hitches as he continues to stare, “you think you like me? or- like- you think you have feelings for me?”

“I don’t think I have feelings for you,” Reggie says matter-of-factly, he thinks he sees Luke’s eyes lose the sparkle they always had but he continues, “I know I have feelings for you.” 

A smile grows comically large across Luke’s face as he takes his hand out of his sleeping bag in order to lightly push Reggie backward, 

“Why would you say it like that?” He laughs.

“Hey, this is my first love confession! Give me a break!” Reggie chuckles as he pushes the other boy back—keeping his hand on top of Luke's shoulder once he stabilizes himself. Luke looks at his hand then back at him,

“Well then I don’t think I like you either,” he teases, “I know I like you.” 

Reggie feels his own face heat and his smile grow large. He feels his chest once again swarm with butterflies and the air around them that riddled with unspoken tension disappear.

The two slowly lean in until they are only breaths away from touching,

“What took you so long?” Luke whispers.

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship... if you didn’t feel the same way.”

“Well I don’t feel the same way,” he smirks, “I like you even more.”

“Oh my god, please stop doing that!” Reggie complains as he rolls his eyes playfully.

The other boy laughs before quickly closing the distance between the two of them. Their lips meet and Reggie immediately kisses back. It’s messy and at one point he accidentally kisses Luke’s chin but they simply giggle before deepening the kiss. Its passionate and fast at some points while also slow and soft at others.

They stay there for a while, fully wrapped up in each other until a quiet voice causes them to break apart slowly, 

“Oh my god, finally.” Alex says from across the room.

The three laugh together as they all take in their new lives. So many things had changed in such a short amount of time, but at least they still had each other.


End file.
